is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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