$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
