so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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