apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We're too hungover to prance.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
