I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
