And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
