yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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