U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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