I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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