Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
