New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
