Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
