Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
