S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
