I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
