Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
