i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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