the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
