Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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