Your tits are I can't wait for
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
