my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
