I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
