I could have mohawked her pubes.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
