This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
