it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
