you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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