ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
