just tell him i said nine months
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
