covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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