I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
