you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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