I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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