and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
