If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
