so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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