her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
