So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
