She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
