whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
