it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
