Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
