called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
