I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
