i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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