I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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