Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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