I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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