He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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