my mouth tastes like poor choices
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
