u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Buhtt sex?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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